Monday, June 29, 2009
Recently, the emo-ing has screwed me up - the things I say, my behaviour, etc. I don't know what to do anymore. Seriously. *sigh* I just want this period to be over. When will it be?
Hey, I really am sorry. I sincerely offer my apologies. Whether or not I offended you. And I hope that this does not affect our friendship.
Arrrggghhhh!! What's with me and friendships recently?! Screwed up system. I thought I would be better if I go out more often instead of staying home. But I'm wrong. It doesn't really help. :(
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:01 AM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
My birthday is coming soon.
What I want as a present : CAMERA!!
A normal digital camera will do. That can take good quality pics. :)
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:01 AM
Bloody ass! Private email about me. Me replying questions with short answers does not mean my vocabulary is weak. I just HATE answering these kinds of questions. You are so damn fucking irritating. And if you noticed, I don't really like to talk much with you. Cuz of generation gap.
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:00 AM
Friday, June 26, 2009
BBBFC!!
Stands for Baby BEE BEE Fan Club.
We wanted it to be BBFC but Candice said only she can call Bee "Bee Bee" cuz Bee is "mine" (according to her, hahah). Ok, Bee Bee. We won't call you that, but that's the FC name. Hahah. ;)
FC President : Corine
Managers : Naomi and Michelle
Anyone who wants to join, please contact any of these three. Thank you! Heh. :)
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:19 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
It is not necessary to apologize TOGETHER cuz different people take different amount of time to think thru (basically, we're all different). Time does not matter, as long as you WANT to apologize. Don't keep thinking negative stuff and put yourself down. It is negative stuff that makes us stronger (depending on how we deal with it).
You're getting too perplexed for me to fathom. I just don't know anymore. I don't know. Oh man, I really need to do something to clear my mind, my thoughts. Apparently, staying at home does not help.
A MILLION LITTLE PIECES by James Frey. A very intriguing book to read. I take it as nonfiction. Cuz the way it is written may be about the author's life, but it is different than in reality as it is written in a more exaggerated and fictionalized way. An extremely thought provoking book. Lots of coarseness. Didn't think that someone like RUI EN would read this kind of book. :)
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
10:51 AM
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friendship
"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."
"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."
"True friendship is never calm."
"You cannot say you've lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed."
"A friend will break your heart, a friend will mend it, a friend will provide you with every feeling in the world, good and bad. A friend is emotion incarnate."
"True friendship, unlike love, always lasts forever."
"True friends stand by you, and help to overcome problems with you."Problems
"When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate."
"When you can't solve the problem, manage it."
"Half the unhappiness in life comes from people being afraid to go straight at things."
"Hiding leads to nowhere except to more hiding."
"All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them, but confront them."
"The best way out of a problem is through it."
"No man will succeed unless he is ready to face and overcome difficulties and is prepared to assume responsibilities."
"To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence."Broken Friendship
"A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight."
"You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends."
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came, and never left your side."
"The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship."Trust
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."
"It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it."
"The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity."
"The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams."
"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."
"Our distrust is very expensive."Everywhere you done
There's more to be done
Everything you do makes a difference to someone
Doing what you should
Giving what you can
Listen to your heart
Be a friend that cares
Every now and then
Give someone a chance
Listen to your heart
Be someone that really cares
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
10:00 PM
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do
CHORUS:
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away
I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around it
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands
CHORUS
I'm going nowhere (on and on and)
I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on)
Take me away I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on)
(and off and on)
CHORUS
Take me away
Take me away
Take me away
Take me away
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:49 AM
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah sad ah!!
I failed Microeconomics and Business Finance!! How could I fail Business Finance?!!! OMG!! I just emailed to appeal to just repeat these 2 modules and not proceed to next semester. Or else, I would just die. We'll wait for their reply. If they are like before, they would accept it. HAIZ!! :(
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
9:40 PM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Ok. This post is just venting my frustrations, letting off steam. Not to anyone. The upcoming posts won't be like the previous posts. It's just too weird. Can't take it anymore.
我真得忍无可忍了。我真的受不了了。什么都不想做。就这样下去。我每天都在跟自己打战。可是，我当然不要表示出来。我相信每个人都一样。都不要别人看到脆弱的我们。表面上是坚强的。每天都在挣扎。我真的不知道要怎么想。脑里都是很多的烦恼。如果我可以像她一样坚强。最近，我一直让我的情绪控制我的一举一动。我真的不知道要怎么想。我不知道，我不知道！！好烦啊！！急躁情绪，情绪低落。这就是我最近的情绪。我朋友是看得到的。我要封闭自己。好好去想一想。我喜欢自己一个人。好自由。好平静。
听她的一些歌也让我跟不好受。可是，歌词很有意义。我现在觉得蛮沮丧的。百感交集。有时候，我不知道要坚持下去，还是这样就放弃了。我不甘心啊！！
"穿反了我的心情 穿插着一点伤心 刺破了习惯戴上的面具 让我无法掩饰我的心"
"我喜欢下雨天 把烦恼放一边 幻想老天才刚失恋 脑里幻想私语 我挣扎不要听
我被锁在这里 有时不禁怀疑 只有我还留在过去 这自创的监狱 让我无法抗拒"
"我是谁啊 谁是我啊 好多个我 这共和国 内部挣扎 左右拉扯 这就是我 这共和国"
"自我麻醉"
"跳跃跳槽跳棋跳跳着 试得我累了 还是跃不出井外 游荡游手好闲游游着 搞得我傻了 期望有得到缘分的一天"
这些，还有瑞恩 (RUI EN) 的另外一首歌，游记。我对于歌词中所描写的意境有所共鸣。
今天就到此为止吧。我无法继续了。
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
9:07 PM
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
We are not forcing you to apologize to HER. She actually apologized during Chalet but that is not the matter. I also want to continue this friendship but I've been feeling down, even before my trip to China, so I haven't been thinking straight or having a good night's sleep. I apologize if I ever sounded harsh in my posts. That's just so me. Apologizing to people, whether I'm wrong or right. Cuz I dun like quarrels or such. But life's not all smooth-sailing. I wish it is though.
I'm sure you know even before my trip that I dun like all these negative things. Yeah, it's occasionally stupid mistakes that ruin friendships/relationships. My thinking is like yours, but in my case, I would not go for the China trip, which may result in me stopping you from making that mistake. Cuz I seriously hate ending friendships. It makes me depressed just by thinking of it. I also don't know how I want to deal with this shit. I just hope that from now on, whenever we meet/see one another, we'll be like acquaintances and not feel weird or awkward ok?
I really hate all these shit. I myself don't know what or how to think anymore. Been feeling moody for these few weeks. Even she can sense, though we bunk in same room, and didn't dare like talk to me after buying KFC that afternoon. But by the time SHE came, I cheered up for that period. After that, back to moody me. Guess it's also lack of sleep that's getting to me.
Guess this is one reason why I love being alone. Happy Loner. Like HER. Not much problems. I hate problems. Seriously. That's why I suck at being a leader or sort. I sorta like to run away from them. But it'll only get bigger. So most of the time, I try to get done and over with the problem.
I think we should just give one another time to cool down and think things through. When we have thought things through, we shall talk again. But no more blaming or whatsoever, just about what are we going to do about this friendship. WE (yes, me and her) really don't want this friendship to vanish just like that. Haiz. I can't think. Seriously.
Let's just have a cooling down period for now. Enjoy your holidays. We may meet soon again, but no hard feelings ok? Anyways. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Let's just try to be stronger after each problem faced, just like HER ok? I know it's hard. But we HAVE TO TRY. :)
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
8:37 PM
Taking a look back at our friendship
I actually don't wanna forget the happy ones
I really enjoyed the happy times
Though we seldom have sad ones
Bridge:
Why, oh why does it have to end like that
Can we not end it on a sour note
CHORUS:
I really really want us to end in a good way
I don't want it to end the other way
If only I could turn back time
Maybe it wouldn't happen at all
And mistakes like that wouldn't occur at all
But now all I want is us to at least
Remain as acquaintances
The time has come
Where I wish that I didn't go for that trip
Maybe that situation wouldn't have happened
Maybe right now we would still be really good friends
Bridge
CHORUS
I really hope that we can at least
Remain as acquaintances
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
12:40 PM
You said you were gonna take all the blame but it seems you are so contradicting to shoot me. I am not even blaming anyone. I finally realized how childish you are by saying all these. We didn't tell her. She saw it. But only cuz she saw once, she will just let it go. Yeah, we're not her bff. But she did apologize to her. I was willing to give you another chance and continue the friendship although she doesn't want to continue with you already. But you just had to ruin that chance. I AIN'T blaming you. People make mistakes. I do too. But people try to make amends for those mistakes. I'm already being very nice and you're saying all those harshful things. Looks like you never learn. Be mature a bit please. And stop putting words into my mouth. I never blame you, and I won't. Because I know people just do things that just suddenly felt like doing in a moment of folly or something. And now you're saying this?! It's not like I totally ignored you during Chalet luh. I DID talk to you. Just was in a bad mood. Nothing relating to you.
I'm not great. I'm not good. I'm no saint. NOBODY is perfect. I ain't so-called good. Neither have I said that about myself. My English ain't good too, though I wish it is much better. And I'm trying to brush up both my English and Mandarin. Life is such, always having obstacles to go through. I don't wish for things to become like this. Never wanted to. But these are consequences of mistakes WE ALL make. I am sorry things have become like that. I really am. Don't know if you feel the same way though. But I wish you all the best in whatever you do from now on. I wasn't ignoring or avoiding you at Chalet, but I was emo-ing. Not cuz of what you did or whatsoever. Not related to you at all. People all want their alone time. People usually regret too late. Let's just move on and stop harping on it. No use crying over spilt milk. I really don't want this friendship to end on a sour note. Like it did with the previous one. But we (that person and I) still talk occasionally. So although we are ending this friendship, I hope that we can still be acquaintances (where we still say hi and bye, and not feel animosity or awkwardness/weird when we see each other). I really mean what I say. I am not those who say one thing and do another. I've just been feeling down for this few weeks, even before I went to China. So I'm like giving people the 'leave me alone' kind of vibe. It's not to you only. Others feel it too. So I hope we can still be acquaintances, and not like what you say in your blog.
Ok, I've said what I wanted. Oh man. I really regretted not buying THAT blue Paul Frank PJ before going to China!!!! It was gone when I came back. And it is super nice!! :(
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
12:05 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
To think I thought you were mature for your age. It may seem to you like no big deal but it is. You may think that she doesn't know but you're wrong. She knows. And she wasn't told of it. She's got eyes to see. You are lucky she is forgiving. Anyways, what's done is done. 我不 要/想 跟你计较了。
What is it with people doing stuff that makes the friendship gone? It's these little things that seem small to you, but in reality, it is no small laughing matter, that ruins friendship.
I've just ended one not long ago, and now you.
Seems like it's back to me being a 宅女 and not make new friends for now. I'm sick and tired of all these making new friends and in the end, cuz of stupid actions, the friendship ends up extinguished. Life has been pretty messed up for me lately and i don't know why. I just want these negativities to be gone and let the positive ones come.
Listening to HER songs (her singing) is making me feel better for now. See you when I see you! :)
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:34 PM
Since you not happy with me, then why give birth to me in the first place?! Bloody ass shit. You are NEVER happy with whatever I do. Everything about me is a bloody disappointment! I might as well go and die! Live in this bloody house and world also like FUCKING SHIT!! If only i continued living with Ah Ma and Ah Kong. It would be so much better!
No. Best is you don't bring me into this bloody fucked up world. You think you know me so very well? Hell no!! You don't!! The baby Naomi you know is back then. You say my brain and thinking is like 2-year-old? Suit yourself! You don't fucking know me! :@
KNNBCCB! I was feeling much better just now, but you had to make it worse. Why can't I just fall into bloody depression so you won't say so much bloody negative things to me?! :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
6:01 PM
I woke up this morning feeling weird and having cramps. And I thought of a poem regarding cramps.
Grumpy grumpy grumpy, the cramp is back againI just took neurofen pills to alleviate the painIf only I'm like those people who NEVER had crampsLife would be so much better without those unbearable daysI sms-ed this to Mich and she replied "Cramps cramps go away, don't come again any other day, dearest Naomi want to play. Haha:)" LOL! It cheered me up.
Anyways. What I can remember of the dream before I woke up, making me feel weird, is I was with my Uncle what seemed to be like an immigration place or something in China. People were speaking Mandarin. And I was pushing a pram. =.=" OMG!! It's not like I'm a Mother lor. I don't even want to be one SO YOUNG!! At least 28, I think. Yes, your idol's age now. I only LOVE playing with kids, but not when they cry, or throw tantrums. I also don't like changing diapers (yes, I've done it before). Not even sure if I will EVER get married. I don't mind being alone (not married) for the rest of my life. Like your idol. :)
I'm feeling better now, though still feeling down and weird. With stupid cramps too. I need doses of HER!!
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:58 AM
Monday, June 15, 2009
I'm EMO-ing. Don't know why. It's a pile up of many things. Mum, friends (not close friends), studies, etc. I actually wanted to type a long post. Now, the words just can't seem to flow out of me. RUI EN, I need you. No, I want to see you again. You're probably the only one now who can cheer me up FULLY.
Chalet was fun!! 11 to 13 June. RUI EN FC chalet!! Thank you very much, committee and Xin Yi for organizing this. I made many new friends. And I remembered when YOU came. Mich didn't believe me, HAHAH! But saw you when we went out of the bungalow. I don't lie/joke about this ok, Michelle. HAHAHAH! LOL! ;)
Been emo-ing since I got back from China. But am feeling better now after seeing HER that night. She's just too cute, her expressions, actions and all. I LOVE the "EN" tattoo!! I'm so gonna get one. When I finally have the courage to stand the pain. I LOVE tattoos. But still haven't got the courage to do one. It's not cuz of her that I wanna do "EN". My chinese name also have "EN". 陈美恩 is my chinese name. Very girlie name, I know. :)
If only I can harden myself and be independent and all like my mum and RUI EN. I probably wouldn't be feeling this way. As though I'm falling into depression. But not that bad. Haiz. :(
EN, oh EN. I wanna see you.
P.S. You better tell me asap and get it over with asap. You know who you are. No use running away or avoiding it. It'll come right back to you when you least expect it or something. My patience is running low. You have til this Saturday to tell me or you'll get the bad side of me. No longer nice Naomi. I mean it!
Naomi Tan Dallee blogged at
11:25 PM
